Loyalty : Something more than commitment

 I was in metro, its 10:30 pm; I had to catch bus for Kurukshetra. A couple was in front of me, 10:30 … yeah it’s too late and in the city where women is not safe in day light. But this is not a single couple, in cities we can find a number of couples wondering in nights.  A lady trust you, that she is with you in mid night, don’t you think you have to care her extra….!! Not even that time, but also every time. Every time she needs you. Same goes to married couple, a lady leaves her older world, just for you and your world. So it’s your responsibility now that she can easily make adjustments in your world, and without your help it’s impossible. Ohh now please don’t say there is not word like impossible in your dictionary. If this is, please update your dictionary. 

And ladies, a guy is with you at 10:30 pm, don’t you think he is taking your responsibility. You can say, “ I can take care myself”. But you also know, in the society where we live, at that time, the guy is responsible.  Just for your smile, a guy does a lot of things. You better know these things.  A husband has to be a volunteer, to adjust things between his family and spouse. He is doing a great job too. He has to maintain both relations truthfully and has to make each and every one happy. And really ladies, I really appreciate your effort that you provide. Because same come here, without your help it’s just impossible.

I know, everyone knows these things, but sorry, I was confused how to start. In daily life, I find lots of family where relations are disturbed. There was one of my friends, who were really depressed, because of his family disputes. Actually his father was not caring about his mother, but most of time he took care for his elder brother’s wife. This is not a story of my friend’s family, there are a lacks of family in same situation. Only men are not responsible, because ladies are also equally participated in this type of situations.  In the joint families, you can find this type of situation easily. Hello, am not saying that these types of issues doesn’t happen in nuclear families. Sex is not love; sooner or later you will realize this. What the need to hurt someone, if you can’t loyal.. don’t marry, don’t make commitment and if you think that you are in relationship, but the other person think that… this is also your responsibility to clear them, that you are not thinking about them as a partner. Be loyal, be gentle.

Often I met people, who said : “ There is nothing called love..” May be they are right, but there is something called Loyalty.

 There is one friend of mine, Asmita( name changed). We were in a painting event. The theme of painting exhibition was love. No doubt, painting were good, I was appreciating, Asmita said : “ ohh what a waste theme it is” . I looked at her, she said “What  ?”

I asked “ why this is waste theme, love is divine..”

She said “ ohh please yaar, look. I was in 3^rd semester, I met Abhi, we fall in love soon, so called love. We were caring, sensible. But what happen, during the end of 4^th semester, he ditch me.” Was it love ?

“okay, during my industrial training, I and my classmate Vineet were sharing some training institute, that time we were good friend. There were no expectations. I like him, I really like him, but as it was 3-4 month back, I and Abhi broke up, so I can’t dare for a new relationship.  But in college, we start sharing good chemistry, he proposed me. At that time I thought it is real love. But when I was in my 7^th semester. I asked Vineet to start prepare for GRE , as I was doing same. But Vineet said that he couldn’t, he would precede his career in India only. I have to look for my career. So, here we broke up”. So was it love?

 In Vegas, I met an Indian guy, here may be due to less Indian or whatever, we were some type of relationship. But when I completed my MS, I came back India, and now hardly we talk. Now am looking for arrange marriage. So where is love?

I don’t know whether she can save any of her relation. May be some time, there are situation that we should broke up. But I don’t think, most of time it happens because of tough situation. And love happen in true situations.  

Sometime I wonder why there are so many break ups. I know some of you also wonder that why you can't stay in a relationship for too long? Well here are some things I've learned, from experience, from friend’s experience and from you. On how to be loyal when in a relationship and how to stay in one for as long as you like.  There are some simple steps, and you know you know all these things. But only thing is that you have to implement these things.

Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Don't ever lie to your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband. Always be truthful and always be real. No one likes a liar and/or fake person. As one day she called me and asked “ where are you” I said “ in office”.  She didn’t asked me to check or verify. She called because she was caring for me. And if after some time I met her in some mall accidently, doesn’t matter with whom. What will be her reaction? What you are expecting? Ohh please now I couldn’t say that she is over reacting or blah blah..!! You also know that was wrong. I may over react in same situation.

Be mature when things go wrong. If you ever get into an argument with them, then just try your best to work it out. Don't bring up the conversation again in the future,  just learn to agree to disagree. Learn when they need their space and tell them when you need yours. Give them time for themselves too. They have friends too, family too, they are also working, and they have also tough time in office. Please try to understand their situations. Be with them, when they need you. Show them that you are with them; show them how important they are in your life.

Pay attention to your partner. If you see that something is upsetting them, don't just wait for them to come to you and talk about it. Go up to them and ask what's wrong. They will often be glad that you're concerned. If they tell you they don't want to talk about it, then don't force them to tell you and give him/her some space. Wait until they are ready and comfortable to tell you. This is one part here people don’t focus. Sometime we want that our partner tell us everything when we want. We should give them enough space so that they can always comfortable with us.

Be with them and only them. Never cheat on them because that will only make the situation even worse. This is most urgent part. Once you are not faithful, you will do all those thing which will spoil your relationship. Because dual loyalty always ruins, where ever it is, either in office or in relationship. Always be faithful, be trustworthy, be sincere. Guys, please beware, never compliment other lady in front of your.  Give her compliments daily for different things.   

 Stay committed and faithful to them. Do things to make him or her happy. Keep your focus on your significant other and their likes and dislikes. I was enjoying my coffee in café, crowded café ( Saturday eve), A couple came to me, asked me for seat, as three seat on my table are empty. They sat with me, the man asked for two chocolate ice creams, the lady interrupted him and asked for two vanilla ice cream. At least 2-3 time they repeated same, and the whole scene because the lady like chocolate and the man like vanilla. Now don’t say this is waste or drama, this happen yaar. Love is here. True love is here… Once you get it please always stay connected with them.

Be loyal in every mean. It doesn’t matter whether you made a commitment or not. There are some unspoken words, try to hear them.

Have a blessed life, have a good relationship