Trust Your Friends, No matter, your past ditched you or not.

I was in queue for admission formalities when I saw her first time. She was laughing with her friends, I didn't know why? But she looked pretty. This was my first day in new school, I didn't know her, but I wanted to know her. XI-D, only one class in the school in which new admissions are permitted. Lucky I was, the pretty  girl was also in same class. Soon we became very good friends. Friends … is it the good word to use for them, who broke your trust.

During My college’s first year I met Asmita, she was very beautiful with heart. We were good friends, but each time, I just keep myself somewhat selfish, somewhat aware, somewhat in doubt, that she could also break my trust. Due to which, bad relationship. And soon with our mutual understanding we broke up, I said mutual understanding. But I know this, that broke was only because of me, only because my trust was broken once. Was this broke up fare? What is the mistake of Asmita, only that she wanted to trust me and expect same form me? My school friend did evil with me, what I did, I did with my college friend. So, should it do in same way? Then no one will trust, without trust there will be no love. And without love, are you seriously expecting some life?

After one year of this incident, I came to know about my mistakes, when I met some of wisdom Gurus, read some self development books and articles. And from that day, I decide, I will trust you world, let see , what will I get,  and what will I .....?

So, please don’t punish someone for anyone’s sin.

In a world where it seems as though all we hear about and see is how one person betrayed another, how do we allow ourselves to trust someone to get close at all, let alone trust them to be near the most fragile parts of us?

I discuss with my friends, some of school guys/girls, many of them have come from unbelievably challenging backgrounds where they have had to learn to not trust anyone as a matter of survival. A number of us are from same background.

Imagine having spent your entire life always having to watch your back literally and figuratively, not just because there are strangers who may want to harm you, but also because even those who are supposed to be close to you could turn against you in an instant.

In my own world, I've struggled with allowing people to really know me because for most of my life, it felt as though I was burned every time I did.

Most of time, I learned how to seem friendly but kept virtually everyone at a distance, and those who got too close I rapidly pushed away, sometimes completely out of my life. Sometime I  also got hurt due to this. Sorry, most of times.

“The only way to know if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemmingway

Then there came a point where, slowly but surely, people began to enter my life who showed me what it meant to be able to trust—trust them to show up, trust them to listen, trust them with commitments, and the biggest one of all, trust them with my heart.

These people came in the form of friends who are now my family and have had my back in countless ways over the years, and the most surprising and recent of all, a lady who is not only telling me, but showing me, what a lady does to express his profound interest beyond just the physical or financial.

If I wouldn’t have begun to take down my walls, I may have never found these amazing people. They didn’t appear because I had perfectly learned to trust already. They appeared because I was willing to learn to trust, even if imperfectly.

As I’ve been learning to trust and lower my defenses, I’ve been working with my friends  to do the same. Their stories are different in that many of them have come from a history of abuse and/or gang related activities. But we share a similar outcome in struggling to realize that what once protected us is no longer needed, and in some cases, is actually hurting us further by isolating us from the love we need to heal and move forward. It’s like taking too much medicine; sometimes a certain amount is necessary to get better, but beyond that it can break our systems down.

We each come to crossroads in our lives where we have to make the decision to let go of our old survival mechanisms in order to grow and make room for something better. Sometimes what used to protect us becomes what harms us and stifles the capacity for our lives to be open and full of joy, love, and peace.

When it comes to trusting each other, we have to accept that our past is not our present. We have to be able to recognize that what hurt us before is not necessarily what is currently standing before us—even sometimes when the situation looks frighteningly similar, and sometimes even when it’s the same person.

Does this mean we won’t ever get hurt again? Nope. That’s a part of life. People will let us down, and we will let them down, but that doesn't mean our efforts to disassemble our defence mechanisms are in vain. If we never allow ourselves any vulnerability, we lose out on the opportunity to make incredibly deep and meaningful connections that open up our lives in ways that couldn't happen any other way. Those connections draw out the very best within and create a new reality—one where we learn that the only way to know if you can trust somebody is to trust them. So, never give punishment to other because of the sins of others. Trust everyone, give them your best.

KEEP SMILING, BECAUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO SMILE, WHEN YOU DO.